Artemis's Guide to the Holidays
by Dreams-Of-Ash
Summary: A list of rules Artemis creates during her first Christmas on the team. Hints of Spitfire.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have had the worst time this year getting into the Christmas season. My original plan was to be in a spot in the novel I am writing to where I could incorporate the holidays, but alas that never came to pass. However, WHYJ IS GETTING A SEASON 3! So how do I celebrate? With a holiday-themed one-shot.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice.**

 _Rule #1: All holiday shopping should take place at least four months before the Christmas season arrives. Failure to comply with this rule includes the risk of death by crowds and fights over toasters._

All in all, it was not one of their best ideas. Then again, sending six teenagers up against super villains wasn't that well-thought out either. Nor was allowing six teenagers of mixed genders to live together, or giving them access to weapons, or-

¨We get it, Rob," Wally clapped a hand over his friend´s running mouth. ¨This was a _terrible_ idea. There. I said it. Happy now?¨

(¨No, actually. For the record-¨)

Artemis sighed. She was acting as a barrier between the two bickering heroes on this oh-so-lovely shopping trip. It was the twentieth of December, and the crowd at Happy Harbor´s ¨malll¨ (if one could call it that) put Black Friday to shame. There was scarecly room to breathe in the sea of shoppers, leaving the archer extremely claustrophobic. As Dick threatened his friend physical harm, Artemis sighed and put her head in her hands. She hated Christmas shopping. Correction- she hated Christmas.

Bah-humbug and all that. Say what you want, the holidays had never exactly been all that great at the Crock household. Usually Christmas called for a visit from the Gotham PD, or at the best a few bruises from her father´s ¨loving¨ fists. Artemis glanced around at her crime fighting squad and shook her head. Between missions and injuries, the Young Justice had forgotten all about the holidays. They had not put up the lights until this morning, and at M´gann´s insistence, the team had agreed on some last-minute shopping.

What. A. Mess.

Superboy was their wall of meat, plowing his way through the crowd of people, scowl ever present on his handsomely cloned face. Eventually, he placed the small Robin on his shoulders of direct him through the herd of rabid shoppers. In the end, they came out of the mall with two boxes of chocolates and a ripped t-shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

_Rule #2: Adult supervision is required during the decoration portion of Christmas preparation. Shazam does not count as "adult supervision."_

"Left. No, your other left. A little more… Perfect! Right there!"

Why M'gann (who could fly) was safely on the floor directing a frazzled Superboy (who, evidently, could not fly) with hanging the the lights at the top of the Cave. It was not an easy task- one that took an extra-long ladder and a paranoid Kaldur to complete- but M'gann had insisted. The Team, never being one to refuse their Martian friend anything, had eventually complied, which led them to where they were now.

Artemis was doing what she considered a "safe" task, which was helping Shazam carry the tree out of the bioship. The pair had cut down the tree themselves (with a little help from Robin's birdarangs) that morning. Artemis could feel the pine needles sticking out of her ponytail, could still feel the aching chill in her fingertips from being out in the snow for over an hour. ("Honestly, could we have just _bought_ a tree?")

"OHH, It's perfect," M'gann squealed when the pair pushed the evergreen through to the living area (Artemis decided not to ask what was currently smoking in the oven). The Martian gestured to a space beside the television. "There should be perfect!"

So Artemis and Shazam walked the tree over to the aforementioned spot, grateful to be able to finally save themselves from the dozens of pine needles digging into their eye sockets. Sitting the tree down was easy, however getting it to _stand up_ was not. The tree leaned to various different sides, both heroes alternatively catching the large green mass before it fell to the floor.

It had been Superboy's idea to use the loveseat, if anyone asked. For the tree now leaned to its left, held up by a worn green loveseat and a very unwilling Sphere. However, within an hour, the tree still fell.

Robin suggested cables from the ceiling hold the tree upright, which worked for the first ten minutes. When one of the cables snapped upon Red Tornado's exiting of his "apartment" (the long-time suffering supervisor had flown back into his residence soon after witnessing the many boxes of ornaments littering the floor). The tree had been half-decorated by then, which meant the occupants of Mount Justice spent a good half an hour picking up shattered glass (and, in Kaldur's case, removing a large shard of ornament from Wally's thigh).

When Black Canary returned to the Cave for afternoon training, she would wonder many things. Of these things were questions such as, "Why are the Christmas lights melting?", "Why is the stove on fire?", and "Why is there a Christmas tree in the bathtub?"


End file.
